Brace yourselves Manxies, there’s a heatwave coming!
Just in case you’ve forgotten how to act during warmer climes, Gef has put together a handy list of do’s and don’ts for you…
- Head to your nearest Davison’s and order your first ice-cream of the season! (namely a LARGE whippy, waffle cone and a cheeky flake, OBV)
- Anything above 10 degrees, get the sun cream out
- Get the BBQ out of long-term storage, give her a clean and head to Riley’s for 6 months worth of charcoal and firelighters (ever the optimist)
- Get yourself down the Quay for a sesh. ‘It’s Wednesday though?’ …WHO CARES! If you’re not there at 5pm sharp on that little strip the sun hits when the sun’s out, are you even MANX?
- Head to Peel to build a sandcastle (steal a spade off your child if necessary)
- BBQ some MANX kippers… persevere when it starts to rain
- Go paddle-boarding down Port Erin, and finish off with some after drinks at Foraging Vintners
- Get your offensively pasty Manx legs out… they need some vit D
- Stock up on some Dark Fruits and get the Arctic Monkeys on ~FeStIvAL ViBeS~
- Locate your nearest beer garden. Head straight to said beer garden.
- Resurrect last year’s WhatsApp group, simply named ‘BBQ’, send a message with a simple combination of a burger and a beer emoji.
- Be prepared to talk about the weather at work ALL DAY for the remainder of the week. Que quotes like; ‘I heard it was going to be 500 degrees tomorrow’
- Meet your mates for a Boots Meal Deal on the prom (beware of the seagulls)#
- Go jumpin’ fella! (SAFELY)
- Be prepared to deal with Sandra, as she goes into immense detail about having Seasonal Affect Disorder, and how much the sun helps her insufferable personality.
- Walk to work looking smug as f*ck in your sunnies.
- Psyche yourself for the Disney World like crowds if you brave the ‘water park’ in Ramsey with kids this weekend
- Take off aforementioned sunnies as the sun f*cks off 5 mins in.
- Don’t forget to take a jacket out cos it’s not gonna get that warm IS IT? LET’S BE HONEST!
- Complain it’s too hot
- Get the budgy smugglers out on Peel beach, or any beach for that matter
- Wear colours that will clash with your majestic sunburn, we’re talking, pinks, reds and ‘salmon’.
- Wear shorts for the rest of the week, even when the inevitable happens and the temperatures return to sub 10 degrees.
- Post a shit picture of the sun with the caption ‘What’s that yellow ball in the sky?” It was a little bit funny the first time we saw it, BACK IN 2012.
- Go for a swim in the Mooragh Lake to cool down – one word, eels.
- Instagram a pic captioned “Hotdogs or Legs?!!?!?!?!” in your overgrown, weed filled back garden.
- Take a pic of the temp on your car dashboard and post it to Facey. Irritation level, 100.
- KILL ANY SPIDERS, AS IT WILL RAIN! RESPECT THE GODS OF NONSENSICAL SUPERSTITION.